Kimchi Chigae

I’ve decided to post some of my Korean recipes b/c well… there are few good Korean recipes online!

When I moved out of my parents’ house 6 years ago and craved Korean food I was very sad. Korean restaurants are expensive and the recipe’s I found in the internet all sounded weird—not like my mom’s food. It was an uphill battle to get her to share recipes w/ me. She doesn’t measure anything, so I always had to guess what she meant by “a little” or “a lot”. She didn’t want me to cook b/c she started so young and feels like she has spent her life cooking. She says there’s plenty of time for me to learn. ALSO, I think she likes knowing that I still need her.

ANYWAY, I’m sharing some of my recipes. These are not my mom’s recipes, cuz my food is pretty good but never is as tasty as her’s. She still makes all her own kimchi (a billion different types), brings the dish that first disappears at church potlucks and family celebrations, and just in general is an AMAZING cook. I’m going to mainly post Korean recipes but will occasionally post other recipes as well (including cookies! YUM!) So, here is my first recipe post:

Kimchi Chigae (Kimchi Stew)
Tastes: spicy (duh), garlicky, and a tad bit sweet
Difficulty level: EASY*

Ingredients (the measurements may be off by a little b/c I’m my mother’s daughter and don’t measure unless it comes to baking ):
2 C water
1.5 T sogogi dashi dah ( Korean beef bouillon)
1 T Olive Oil
1 C Kimchi w/ the juices (you need the napa cabbage kind)
1/2 package of tofu (soft or medium)- cut into 1-inch cubes
1 Green onion, chopped into 1-inch pieces
6 oz stew beef cut into half-inch cubes

Directions:
In a medium pot heat up the olive oil. W/ the stove on medium heat, add in the kimchi and stew beef and saute until the kimchi leaves turn almost translucent (abt 5 minutes). Add the water to the pot, cover, bring to boil. Add in sogogi dashi dah; stir; taste. At this point you can add in more kimchi juice or dashi dah to adjust to your liking. Add the green onion and tofu, bring to boil once more. EAT!!!!! (Don’t be greedy and burn your tongue like I sometimes do).

Variations: Until recently I’ve been a relatively broke and extremely busy student. This means my kimchi chigae usually is just the water, oil, dashi, and kimchi. If I’m lucky I put in the tofu.

Beef: You can leave out the meat entirely or substitute SPAM (sounds good, but I like my SPAM fried). I’ve also heard people say they use canned tuna, but that’s a bit weird to me.

Sogoi Dashi Dah: You can probably substitute regular beef bouillon or beef stock. I’ve never done this, but imagine it to be okay. OR you can just go to the Korean market and buy some. Sogogi dashi dah is the base for all of my soups and a minor but important ingredient in a lot of my panchan recipes as well.

Too lazy to make rice? Add vermicelli noodles (like the kind in jap chae) or tuk/ rice ovalettes to your kimchi chigae for some starchy goodness!

*hmm, actually, almost everything I post will be spicy, garlicky, and easy to make (my top 3 qualities in a food)

Korean Food Recipes

Among the non-Asian folks I know, Korean food gets no love (unless it's from a guy who loves Koreans). Even though the weather is warming up in Oakland, I have been craving spicy Korean food, especially soups and stews. So, check back for an occassional post w/ some of my favorite recipes. Any Korean who has called their mom for a recipe knows that everything is measured by "a little", "a lot", "some", or "until it tastes right". This is also how I measure things. I'm going to try my hardest to avoid this when I wrtie my recipes. Here are some recipes I'll be posting:

Soon Dubu (Soft Tofu Stew)
Kimchi Chigae (Kimchi Stew)
Deng Jang Chigae (Korean Bean Paste Stew; like miso but much stronger and spicy!)
Yukae Jang (Spicy Beef Stew)
Chicken Soup (my momma’s recipe)
Mi Yuk Guk (Seaweed Soup)
Tuk Guk (Rice cake soup)
Tukbooki (spicy rice cake)
Jajang Myun (black bean noodles)
Mandoo (Korean Dumpling)
and some simple panchan recipes as well


BTW, my sister and I are boycotting Koryo BBQ in Oakland. I'm not a huge fan of Korean BBQ so I prefer Sahn Maru ( 4315 Telegraph Ave. (at 43rd. St.)) which is right across the street from Koryo. Sahn Maru has BBQ but does not have table top grilling. If you're in the mood for non-BBQed Korean food, w/ YUMMY panchan, and EXCELLENT service, make your way over. Y

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I’ve been out of the blogging world for while. But now I’m back.

Since I turned in my thesis, I’ve been feeling pretty depressed. I’ve had thesis tunnel vision for a few months, which means I haven’t taken care of myself in many ways—mostly psychologically and physically. I feel like I’ve put on “thesis weight”. Sitting, typing, and eating out are not conducive to maintaining a fit lifestyle. Last week, I had a breakdown in my car. I felt disgusted w/ myself, repulsed even, all because of this damned thesis weight. I have never been filled w/ so much self-hate; it felt almost poisonous.

Some people know that my family is CRAZY about standards of beauty. These pressures come from both the women eand the men. In the past 10 years or so, I’ve really begun to notice it b/c I have many young female cousins. As young as the age of 4, the plump girls are critiqued by their parents, uncles, and aunts. I remember being super-body conscious at the age as well! I was tormented about my weight, admonished for hitting puberty early, yelled at for sitting in the sun and getting dark, and of course, bothered about not having the “double eyelid”.*

It wasn’t until I left for college that I realized how much better I felt about myself when I was away from most of my family. Sad, huh? I’ve definitely had moments of feeling gross, unattractive, etc but overall, I ended up with a pretty healthy body-image and avoided eating disorders. I feel pretty proud that I have been able to resist what my family, what Korean culture, what American culture has told me about my body and my worth. Thus, my mental breakdown in my car started w/ tears over my looks but ended up mixing w/ anguish over feeling that I had been defeated—that my will had been broken. It was extremely saddening.**

Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit better. Now that I’m done w/ school and only have work to worry about I have time for the gym, which is exciting. I think I will get back into shape and have more energy for a crazy summer w/ 200 high school kids, Also, I did realize this: People have told me I am beautiful, attractive, or even sexy. Although, I’m always a bit surprised when I hear this (and embarrassed b/c I don’t know how to accept compliments (Asian much?)), it is encouraging. Aside from being a small boost in self-esteem, it is a realization that I am one among many people who seek to or have redefined beauty in their minds. This is heartening

* my uncles actually used to chase me around my grandmother’s house w/ a pencil. If you have a single-fold eyelid and stick a pencil in the outer corner of your eyelid, it makes a temporary double-fold.) this story is actually kind of funny. I have many stories that are very sad and humiliating, especially for a young girl.

**Later that day, I got a request from a friend to call into her radio show to talk about having a positive body-image. That request made me feel even worse.

today i finished 19 consecutive years of schooling. i turned in my masters thesis today and don't really know how to feel except that i should have reread it once more. my students are very excited for me and keep saying, "I'm going to call you Master Amy from now on." There's so many things wrong w/ that! anyway, it's cool that i have a line on my resume that says, "Masters of Arts in Education with a concentration in Equity and Social Justice" kick ass!

Tbanks to my friend Aaron, I had the honor of meeting Yuri Kochiyama. I’ve heard Yuri speak several times at large events but have never actually met her. Yuri came to visit Aaron’s first grade class so Aaron and I picked her up, stayed with her before her classroom visit, and then did a brief interview. For some reason, I feel funny blogging about meeting Yuri so I’m going to leave this at a few comments:

-Yuri asked me where I was from and I told her I grew up in San Diego. Usually when I tell people I’m from San Diego people respond, “San Diego is so beautiful!” or something similar. Yuri’s response? “Isn’t San Diego very racist?” Classic.

-Yuri’s range is amazing. She straight up asked a group of administrators and parents, “Don’t the students wonder why there are no black students here?” (the school is in the Oakland hills). When the students asked her “What can we do to help people?” She told the students they can ask someone who is carrying a lot of bundles if she/ he needs help or to offer help to someone who falls down on the playground. One parent asked her, “Has it ever been scary or hard for you to do the right thing?” Yuri basically told the students even if it was scary she was usually with a group of people and that made things better. She encouraged the students to work together when they think something needs to be changed. Then she said, “Just try not to get arrested. Hopefully, whoever the leader is will know about your rights.”

-The students wanted to know who Yuri considered to be a shero/ hero. Yuri said that Anne Sullivan was someone she really respected because of her patience. That struck me.

-Aaron’s class gave Yuri a teddy bear to add to her teddy bear collection. Yuri loves teddy bears and seemed to like this one in particular. After the class visit we had a chance to do a brief interview. To watch bad-ass Yuri hug a multi-colored teddy bear while speaking about Malcolm X was… I don’t even have a word. But it was good.

-I’m so excited that she has agreed to be the keynote speaker for our summer program. Our program needs this. Yeah, Aaron, I know I owe you.

Finally, Yuri’s love for people and commitment for social justice is apparent. She is such a loving and sincere woman.

Marie’s comment on my last blog post:
“I think a problem that a lot of multi-generation white Americans face is that they've lost their own culture/heritage/community. Whenever I try to claim, say, Italian (five generations back to the boat), my lovely British fiancé basically tells me to shut up because I'm American and that's the end of it. After all those years of assimilation, we whities have lost something valuable in exchange for fitting in. Those little white kids probably got excited at the opportunity to recognize where their own ancestors came from - however uneducated they may be on what their great-great-grandparents' culture actually is. I'm guessing they have no community to identify with other than the WASP community, which, let's face it, is pretty boring. Then again, they're also like six.”


I have many thoughts on this but b/c i'm trying to finish my thesis, here are some preliminary and rushed thoughts:
"my lovely British fiancé basically tells me to shut up because I'm American and that's the end of it. "
I think there is a globally powerful notion of “American”.
Even when children of immigrants or immigrants who have lived in the U.S. for 20+ years go visit their home country, this happens (at least I know, especially in Asian countries). I know Korean Americans who grew up in predominantly Korean American communities, speak flawless Korean, go to Korea and try to act “Korean” (whatever that means) and still get outed as an American. It can be pretty devastating to have two countries tell you, “Go back to where you came from.”

“Those little white kids probably got excited at the opportunity to recognize where their own ancestors came from - however uneducated they may be on what their great-great-grandparents' culture actually is”
I’m not so sure that knowing a lot about your ancestral culture has a whole lot to do w/ being a ______ American. I try very, very hard not to dismiss people as “white-washed” b/c they don’t know a lot about their ancestral history or the history of their people in the U.S. As someone who only found 6 lines about Korea in her ENTIRE K-12 education and ZERO lines about Korean American history or Asian American history, I am pretty sympathetic. That said, that doesn’t mean that sometimes I don’t meet folks and think, “You need to go ask your parents or read a book.” Some of what I do think matters in identity politics is the following (piggy back off of Peggy McIntosh):


Do you primarily identify yourself as Korean/ Arab/ Italian/ German/ etc American or an American?

When there is an international situation or national situation involving the country of your ancestors in what ways are you as a Korean/ Arab,/ Italian/ French/ whatever American affected? Examples range from WWII & Japanese Internment; 9/11& illegal detainment of Arab-Americans,/ racial profiling, illegal campaign contributions from China and donor investigations into Chinese Americans, and just generally stupid questions like, “So tell me about the nuclear weapons in North Korea, do you think they really exist?”

In general, is your loyalty to the U.S. ever questioned b/c of the way you physical racial/ ethnic attributes?

When you write/ direct/ create any form of art, are you pretty sure your ancestral heritage will be mentioned in any reviews? Are people from your ethnic community going to evaluate you on whether or not you are accurately representing them?

Do people want to know when you last visited the country of your ancestors or ask if/ expect you to speak that language?

I think those questions can clarify what it really means to claim a hyphenated identity (even though I don’t hyphenate Asian American), especially in terms of social and political repercussions. Basically, it is frustrating to hear people claim ethnic American identities when it is something they can CHOOSE to reveal and even then it doesn’t change much about their position in society.

“I'm guessing they have no community to identify with other than the WASP community, which, let's face it, is pretty boring.”
Renato Rosaldo writes about the importance of visibilizing and naming white American culture. I have often heard my white students and my white colleagues talk about feeling left out of “multicultural days”. Well, my obvious response was, Now you know how we feel year-round! J/k… kinda…* Basically, he problemitizes the idea of white Americans feeling cultureless. Rosaldo critiques the anthropologic value in studying the Other (particularly in search of “pure” culture). He highlights the importance of understanding the existence, behaviors, and practices of white American culture. I’ve only read excerpts of Rosaldo but have really enjoyed his arguments. I have also seen many books on similar topics at Cody’s which I hope to read this summer.

“Then again, they're also like six.” Yup. Even with high school students or adults topics like this can be difficult to articulate and difficult to understand. sigh


* anyway, these days are problematic also for the students it is supposed to uplift. it usually is only cool to bring cultural food that would be the least visually unusual and has a neutral and mild taste or smell, basically letting me know that you can be a little bit ethnic, but not TOO ethnic.

my friend aaron is doing some awesome things w/ his 1st graders. Aaron's bringing activist Yuri Kochiyama to speak to his 1st graders this week! I'm so excited b/c I get to go too! tight. anyway, i will blog about that once it happens. B/c i work with HS students i miss out on many of the darling things little ones do/ say. To prep his students for Yuri, Aaron paired the kids and had them write 2-3 questions they have for her. Tonight we looked through the questions in preparation for tomorrow's class. There were the usual ones: What is your favorite color? Some good questions: How is in your community? Why do you help people? How did you help kids get street lights? And then some laugh out loud questions: How did you save the day? What is your favorite dinosaur? I LOVE the dinosaur question!

On another note, Aaron has been doing a lot of teaching about "community" w/ his kids. He gave examples of what different communities look like, one example was his mixed race heritage (JA, Irish, etc etc). All the students of color remained quiet while the white kids in his class got excited and claimed "I'm Irish and French" "I'm 100% European. That is my community. " AND "The Pilgrims are my community"". Man, how do you problemitize and explain all that to 1st graders?

Jeff Yang who writes the Asian Pop column for SF Gate posted some questions on his blog. Here is my attempt to answer some of his questions.

QUESTION: WHAT DOES ASIAN MEAN TO YOU?

NAME: Amy Lee
LOCATION: Oakland, CA originally from San Diego, CA
DESCRIBE YOURSELF: 2nd generation Korean American. Daughter of working class immigrants. Educator.

Do you think of yourself as Asian? Why or why not? Do your parents?
Outwardly, I think of myself as Asian American. I think of myself as part of the “Asian American community”. I like the ambiguity of the term. Because Asian American refers to so many people, so many ethnic groups, I think it’s harder to stereotype than “Korean American.” There’s a lot more space to define/ redefine. Inwardly, I think of myself as Korean or Korean American. I don’t feel like I have a Korean American community outside of my family so my identification as Korean American is very specific and very personal.

My parents do not think of themselves as Asian or me as Asian; in their eyes we are definitely Korean. When I came home from school upset because some stupid kids pulled their eyes to the side and chanted “Ching-chong Chinaman!” my dad said, “Tell them you’re Korean, not Chinese!” Not exactly comforting for a 7-year-old.

When was the first time you referred to yourself as "Asian"?
This is a hard question. This must have been when I was older, probably 8th grade.

Stream of consciousness: What ideas immediately come to mind when you think of the word Asian?
Perfectly made-up face with a cigarette dangling out of shiny red lips
Diesel jeans, vintage shirt, kangol hat, puma shoes, hipster who lives in the Haight.

Mental health issues ignored. Body image. Heterogeneous. Homogeneous. Modest. Asian fetish. Someone you can share “whipping” stories with and not be embarrassed or think he/she will pass judgment on your parents.

What does Asian taste like?
At American restaurants “Asian” tastes like ginger, peanuts, scallions, and mandarin oranges. For the record, Korean food never uses peanuts OR oranges.

What does Asian look like? (For my mother)
Your hands are rough from manual labor. They are aged with chemicals that make floors and toilets sparkle. They rub sweat out of the collars of “dry-clean only” shirts. They are scarred from running endless yards of poly-cotton material through commercial sewing machines to turn a 22-cent-profit on a trendy top. You come home tired from your minimum-wage job and make dinner: two types of kimchi, neatly-folded mandoo, three types of nam-mul, gamja ban-chan, fried fish, a spicy chigae -- all homemade/ handmade. Your hands give life.

What is Asian good at and bad at?
Despite coming from a culture where cycles are prominent, we are LINEAR. (Good or bad, your call).

What's the most Asian thing you've ever done?
The most “Asian” thing I’ve ever done is go to UC Berkeley. Or maybe the most Asian thing I’ve done is plan out a day to eat Spam. I loved canned meat!!!

Who's the most Asian person you know? Why?
Umm… Wu-Tang Clan?

If you're Asian, how do you feel when you see someone who's not Asian aspiring to be Asian--flattered, or embarrassed, both, or neither?
One time I was in a random church crying, looking for refuge. I was a low-point in my life. I ended up talking to the pastor who was a white male. The pastor kept making suggestions that were TOTALLY culturally insensitive. After I told him his suggestions weren’t realistic for my family situation, he briefly excused himself. He came back and introduced this white lady to me: “Amy, this is ____. She might be able to help us out. ____ has been working at the Asian Art Museum for 10 years. She knows a lot about Asian culture.” Despite the fact that I was crying so hard that I had hiccups, snot all over my face, and my eyes were swollen, I had to stop and laugh. Usually, I just laugh.

Extra: Last summer we took our students ice skating. They were supposed to brown bag their lunch and eat it at the rink. I ended up sitting next to some students from San Francisco, all Chinese kids. They had tupperware with rice and some unidentifiable home-cooked Chinese food. It was so cool! I was always stressed out when we had to bring a lunch for a field trip instead of being able to buy lunch from school. For the most part I grew up in lily-white areas of San Diego. I definitely did not want to bring my momma’s food for fieldtrips. It was such an ordeal to bring lunch from home because we’d have to think “American”. We’d have to buy a whole package of brown paper lunch bags, a loaf of bread, mayonnaise, ham, lettuce, tomato, chips, juice boxes, sandwich bags, etc etc. It was so expensive. By the time the next fieldtrip rolled around the paper lunch bags would be all dusty, the mayonnaise would look weird, and the sandwich bags would get tossed so we would have to start ALL over. Anyway, I told my students all of this and they looked at me like I was silly. They could not understand why I wouldn’t just bring Korean food to these field trips. Maybe I thought eating like an “American” would make my eyes bigger and my hair lighter and fool the rest of the kids! I think though, if you grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood and are a person of color, you know what I’m talking about.

As I prepare to complete (probably) the last step in my education, I keep thinking I should also look to find a new job. My job is very stressful and physically and emotionally demanding (like most jobs in ed). This past week has made me really emotional. My students and younger staff I have worked with have validated the work I am doing—a job that I often feel like is thankless (esp, by my office).

My job is interesting and varies. Some students will get into their dream school w/ or w/out me; they just don’t think they can do it by themselves. Others need the support to tell their stories to contextualize their less-than-impressive grades (one of my students got denied from every college EXCEPT from Berkeley (we have a crazy admissions process that I actually think is the best process in the UC system). This student did not want to talk about immigrating to the U.S. and living by himself for a year an a half while going to school (getting mainly D’s) and working 60 hour-weeks because he didn’t want to be pitied. Others just get scared seeing a bunch of bureaucratic forms and don’t want to attempt to do it by themselves. Some have messed up so much academically they gave up on college their junior year and then came for help senior year (one student actually cried when she got her acceptance letter to CSU eastbay). And then, of course, there’s all those personal stories… the ones that happened and the ones that are on going. Sometimes its just listening. Sometimes it referrals to clinics/ hospitals. Sometimes it’s just a coffee and a pastry. The worst is when you remember you are a mandated reporter. Then thinking of the cultural implications and ramifications of mandated reporting and how “abuse” looks different to different people. Then having to trust your own judgment…

I’m responsible for about 80 seniors (in total about 300 9-12 graders. My interns do most of the work with the younger students). Admittedly I don’t know many of my seniors (some have actually never come to see me). I’ve probably worked directly with about 60 students and have built close relationships with about 2/3s. I can’t even express how deeply these students have touched me.

All of my seniors are going to college next year-- about 90% are going to a 4-year. A good handful of the ones I am very close to are going to Berkeley, Davis, SFSU, and Sonoma so will be nearby. What is hard is many of their friends aren’t graduating. About 25% of seniors in West Contra Costa Unified have not passed the high school exit exam. At one school I work at, more than 40% of seniors have not passed the exit exam. This makes my role at the school seem luxurious and makes the school admin not so nice to me…

As the school year starts to wrap up I’m already thinking about how much I’ll miss my seniors. This year’s class has a special place in my heart because many I have known since they were in middle school. Also, some of the ones I just met within the last 1-2 years have been amazing, especially in perseverance. This year, I’ve also had the privilege of meeting and working with some students who are not in my program, but friends of friends. These young women in particular have left a strong impression on me. In a few years they will be even more kickass.

Dear Ex,
Luckily for you I've spent the last 6 weeks busting my ass to finish my thesis. b/c of this, I have yet to release my wrath on you. most likely I never will b/c I'm scared I will say something that will reignite your psycho-ness and find you waiting outside my office ready to kill me.

The last time I went to your house was a nightmare. To find out from your roommate that everything you had told me was a lie-- including the "fact" that weeks before you were lying unconscious in the fucking hospital—left me nauseous. Then to hear from your crazy cousin the next morning was too much. You know some fucked up people. The worse is that you need to have someone call for you!!!!! (You can at least stop being a thief and return my things!)

Since I have deduced that you are a pathological liar it makes sense that the big dreams and silly promises you had for yourself and for us never appeared. You were truly absurd. I always tried to convince myself that your absurdity was really just hyperbole squared or even cubed, but alas, I was wrong.

No, really, in all seriousness, I regret wasting a year on someone who is a figment of your imagination. I hate to be an elitist, but even if you are a real pathological liar you could have at least dreamed up someone w/ impressive credentials.

I have thought about why I didn’t try and break up with you before or after that crazy time in November when I asked you how you felt about taking a break (remember? you didn’t take that conversation too well. You peaced out for 6 fucking weeks. It took 4 weeks to get you to FINALLY put my stuff in my car trunk w/ the spare key (like I had asked you to do 3 weeks earlier) and you threw my keys in my mailbox and doorbell ditched me so I could find my keys. THEN two weeks later randomly showed up in my backyard early in the morning w/ a dramatic and tearful apology). You did SO MANY HORRIBLE THINGS TO ME. Yet I stayed with you or gave you more chances. Yes, this is going to make me look bad, but in all honesty it was guilt. I was always insecure about you.

Yes, you are physically beautiful. Beyond that, at our best I felt safe and secure w/ you. You made me feel beautiful. I loved your silliness; I loved that I could be silly with you. I liked that you were many things that my college boyfriend was not. (Yes, I do have some happy memories, but don’t feel like they’re mine since the person you said you were was mostly a lie). Ironically, I liked that you had dreamed big (at the time I did not know how much you “dreamed”). Despite this, I was insecure about what other people thought about us being together (no, by this I don’t mean that I was insecure cuz you’re black and I’m Korean). I hated the fact that I was insecure about who you were. I tried to push it away, to let go of my pride, to let go of what was a reflection of my own downfalls. I tried so hard that I was suffocated by it. Every time you did something to make me feel literally worthless, I was scared that those superficial insecurities were playing into my want to leave you, so I always held out. Dumb-ass me should have just said, “Who the hell cares if my insecurities are superficial? This man is neglectful and abusive!” and then dumped your ass.

Yes, I know, this letter has gone from hateful to reflective. Mainly, I hope you get help. I hope your family stops lying for you to cover up your pathological liar-ness. If, by some miracle you are not a pathological liar and just a horrible, terrible person, I hope you… Hey, I have some class so I won’t even say it.

~Amy

This is my month biatch!

In honor of APA heritage month, I offer you a list of 10 things YOU can do to celebrate (seriously, I was an Asian American Studies major!):
1. Make origami cranes
2. eat fortune cookies (strike that)
2. take out your planner and schedule in a different asian cuisine for every day of the month (thai, Burmese, Indian, Chinese, Korean, Japanese Vietnamese, Pilipino, Taiwanese, Singaporean, etc etc.)
3. tell your asian girlfriend/ wife “I love you” in her home language
4. go to yoga/ tae kwon do/ jujitsu/ etc etc
5. wear a cheongsam, hanbok, kimono w/ chopsticks in your hair (or a sari w/ a bindi on your head)
6. get an asian tattoo/ henna
7. Watch Madame Butterfly
8. Tell an APA how your dad/ grandfather/ uncle/ brother fought in the “war”
9. make a newspaper rice paddy hat and wear it on your head
10. watch hentai

May is APA heritage month. like most people of color, I don’t really know what to make of the tokenized month that celebrates the greatest of me (or rather, APAs). May has never been anything special to me except that it meant the end of the school year for the last 6 years of my life. as a former Asian American Studies major you'd think i'd get really excited, go to a bunch of events, and be... well, yellow and proud. in actuality, i'm never quite sure what to make of this month. it seems very anti-climatic.

This year, I’m going to try and remember WHY May is APA heritage month:

-May is the month in which the first Asian arrived on American soil (so I’ve read)

-Chinese exclusion Act, Passed May 6 1882: Chinese were banned from immigrating to the U.S. Originally a 10-year-policy, was extended and made permanent in 1902. It wasn’t until 1943 when China was an important ally of US that the act was appealed.

-On May 3, 1942, General DeWitt issued Civilian Exclusion Order No. 346, ordering all people of Japanese ancestry, whether citizens or non-citizens, to report to assembly centers, where they would live until being moved to permanent "Relocation Centers."

-Chinese American railroad workers finish building the Transcontinental Railroad on May 10, 1869. 2/3 of the 4,000 railroad workers were Chinese. Workers risked and lost their lives to chip away granite and plant explosives to blast tunnels.


Okay, so here is my REAL list to celebrate APA heritage month:
1. Listen closely and stop thinking you can’t understand someone speaking w/ an accent
2. Be nice to service workers
3. teach your kids/ yourself/ someone to stop pulling their eyes and saying “ching chong chinaman”
4. write to Michelle Malkinand John Yooand let them know you’re ashamed of them
5. stop thinking in a black/ white paradigm
6. vote
7. read a book by an APA writer that is not Amy Tan or Maxine Hong Kingston
8. love an APA man
9. stop thinking you can’t be a feminist and an APA activist
10. Read Heartbeat of Struggle: The Revolutionary Life of Yuri Kochiyama

11. if you’re an APA take care of your mental and physical health. If you’re an APA woman who is not “Asian-skinny” love your body. We don’t all have to be a BCBG size 0, ya know! (Fact: Suicide is the leading cause of death for APA youth (second only to unintentional deaths) according to CDC 2000. In 2003, the American Psychological Association found that APA girls have highest rate of depressive symptoms of all racial groups and the highest suicide rate among women 15-24). Let's take care of ourselves kiddies!

i keep forgetting to post stuff from my myspace blog:

I'm working at the Starbucks in Barnes and Noble in Emeryville. The place is packed today. The only table open is next to this group of 7 people. We grab the table, but Im secretly thinking, oh no, I bet theyre going to be loud. Theyre not. Theyre completely silent only laughing occasionally. The only noise is the adorable baby making baby noise. I wonder why 7 people are sitting in silence. I look over and I see that theyre all signing to teach other! Totally unexpected. I actually see people signing to each other pretty often. This time though its different b/c theyre Asian. Ive never seen Asian folks using sign language. I wonder if my surprise is an internalization of the idea that Asian folks dont have disabilities. Those issues are really hidden in our community. Its pretty sad and damaging to APAs who are disabled and their families. Not only is there an issue of shame, but theres little outreach to the community by larger advocacy groups.

Anyway, its really cool cuz the baby is like 1 year old. The seven adults are signing to each other but then also teaching the baby how to sign. It must be neat to have your baby attempt to sign. Its so cute when babys mess up big people words cuz their voices are so squeaky and well, babyish. It must be just as cute to have your baby sign cuz you get to see those chubby hands clumsily communicate! You can tell when the baby is doing baby-signing (as opposed to baby wiggling and waving) b/c you hear excited sounds from the group and everyone gets these huge smiles. Nice.


UPDATE: SWEET!!! they're korean! they're singing/ humming/ signing one of my Korean baby songs about 3 bears (better than goldilocks). oooh sooo cute!!!

today i was telling aaron about how much i like wikipedia. whenever i want to find something i check out wikipedia; it's like an internet Dad. for example, i love eating pommelo. i figured it was a hybrid of a grapefruit and orange but wasnt sure. B/c of wikipedia i now know that a grapefruit is actually a hybrid of an orange and pommelo. who knew pommelo was a pure fruit?! B/c of wikipedia i also know that Marlon Brando loved "exotic women".

in 1957 he married actress Anna Kashfi believing her to be South Asian. She was actually from Wales and was Irish Catholic. She "dressed and made herself up as an Indian beauty after learning that Brando gravitated toward exotic women." weird huh? if you look up "lactose intolerant" on wikipedia you can see a graph that shows the % of lactose intolerancy by ethnic group (swedish 2%; white americans 12%; black americans 75%;; chinese 83%.)

a few months ago, my sister and i looked up "care bears" cuz we love those little buggers. not only is there a lengthy article on care bears, but it lists the main care bears and the care bear cousins. my favorite care bear, funshine bear used to be a girl in the 80s but was recently reissued as a boy! funshine is transexual! amigo bear was added this year and is the first bear to speak spanish. amigo bear got me thinking that the rest of the bears are probably ethnically white, instead of ethnicity-less like they should be since they're bears. anyway, today i revisited the page to see if any care bear descriptions would have ethnicity clue. guess what i found? in an episode called "long lost care bears" there are 2 bears named Polite and Perfect PANDA. WTF? come on, you know ppl think asians are polite (bowing, pouring tea, etc etc) and strive to be perfect (overworked kids going to kumon, language school, piano, karate, church, etc) . these bears are obviously Asian, more specifically Chinese (cuz you know, panda's are from china). i hope the creators know that polite and perfect might be care bear COUSINS, not actual care BEARS b/c there's some classification controversy if pandas are bears, related to raccoons, or are in a class by themselves.