Sunday, April 02, 2006

all of my curriculum is done biatch!

actually this is a delayed post. i finished it last monday but have not had a chance to celebrate it.

this past week has been an emotional rollercoaster, filled with a lot of.... i guess... grieving (?). perhaps more disbelief and anger. i have been trudging along and getting my work and school done though. i've actually been pretty damn productive which worries me a little. i've been told that my coping mechanism is not so good... i guess i start coping w/ stuff but once it interferes w/ my responsibilities, i cut it off and never let it run its course. for someone who's so damned sensitive this is puzzling.

also in the past two weeks or so i have felt young. most people know that i am age sensitive. i hate being referred to as young or "only 23" or the worst, "when i was your age" (by people who are only a few years older). in the past 2-3 years I have felt esp sensitive b/c everything in my life has been on super-high gear w/ a lot of responsibilities. as a result, i've always felt somewhat older (even w/ all my big ass stuffed animals on my bed). recently when i'm sitting on my floor or lying in my bed thinking about stuff that's going on i get this feeling... stronger than a feeling... not as strong as a revelation... but whatever it is, my mind takes a big gulp of air and i feel something inside me that i instinctually associate w/ being young... vulernability perhaps.


Anonymous said...

Say hi to Patrick for me :)

<3 Marie

Hui Jeong said...

patrick is a permanent fixture on my bed, along w/ the duck and a big ass funshine bear!