fried calamari

i've been having a tough time  :(  as a result, i've been scared to fall asleep without sleeping pills...  i'm afraid that i won't be able to fall asleep and i'll stay up all night alone.  also, i don't want to wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep.  *sigh*

getting up after taking a sleeping pill is a challenge.  even though i give myself the 8+ hours of sleep recommended it fucks with my mind.  Sunday morning I woke up and could not bear to pull myself out of bed.  not only was I weighed down with several heavy blankets, but my mind was hazy and slow.  i stayed in bed, groggy and literally terrified that i wouldn't be able to get up.  it felt like a giant squid's tentacles were tightly wrapping my body and limbs... i kept thinking that the suction tentacles were injecting a slow but steady stream of poison into my body to keep me from leaving my bed.  it was only after i said a prayer that i had the ja-sheen to pull myself up...